Where to now??

My name is Drishti and I am a burnt out teacher.

Yep, that was absolutely meant to sound like an anonymous meeting confession.

It feels shameful to admit somehow. The fact that I am unhappy in my career. A career that I chose when I was 5 years old by the way. Yes thats right. Teaching is the first thing I ever told my parents I wanted to be at 5.

Naturally my mind changed about a dozen times after that - Cardiologist, Vet, Jewellery Designer, Forensic Scientist, JK Rowling (Best selling novelist), TV Journalist. But I always found myself drawn to teaching and eventually I got an opportunity to work with children in Indonesia and felt my passion alight.

I did my Masters in Teaching in 2017 and 2018 and I excelled. I loved every second of my degree and my results reflected this. I was so excited to get into the classroom and start building connections with my students and inspiring them.

Here I am, in my 5th year of teaching and I have resigned from full time classroom teaching. I am working as a casual teacher now and I am looking for my next adventure.

Unfortunately, I am a part of that statistic - the one I heard at University that stated that a third of us wouldn't make it 5 years in the career.

Why? Because my Teacher Education Program; as wondefully engaging, inspiring and fun as it was, simply did not prepare me for the realities of the job. Sure it helped me prepare lesson plans and assessments and super engaging literature units, but it did not prepare me for the demands of parents, reports, professional development courses, or the infamous positive behaviour framework.

Add in the unexpected pandemic we all had to learn to deal with and here I find myself, burnt out and honestly a little traumatised.

I have worked with some truly wonderful children. I have had some very supportive colleagues, co -teachers and grade partners. I have had mentors and superiors at work that have been truly inspiring and so incredible to work with, some that I consider very dear friends now.

However, I have also felt unsupported and isolated. I have had some truly challenging students and parents in my class and I have felt a lack of support in managing these stakeholders and their needs.

I have had demanding emails from parents that have aggrevated my anxiety and kept me up at night and I have had little to no support in managing these.

I have felt watched and critiqued and torn down, but not built up and inspired to grow.

I was led to believe that the parents did not like me and that I was not good enough but once again, not supported to grow and improve.

My health suffered - I have seen more specialists in the last two years and been through more blood test and scans than anyone who is scared of needles should have to face.

My mental health suffered - I have faced anxiety, depression and been through two rounds of therapy in the last three years as well.

So here I am, very much prepared to walk away from my whiteboard and my red pen, from recess breaks and the illusion of school holidays.

Here's to never having to sit through another behaviour management review or parent teacher meeting ever again.

Bye bye reports, sayonara scheduled bathroom breaks.

The question now is.... ok where to next? what now? where will this winding road take me?

Well I am living the life of a casual teacher for now.... different school or class of students every day, living pay check to pay check.... uncertainty lies the road ahead.

For the first time in my life, I have no idea in the slightest where this road will take me. and somehow, control freak that I am, I am ok with it.

Here's to the next great adventure.